back to the future

What happened so far (Another blast from another past):
After meeting my schoolmate (~22 years), now R (~15 years), I also have a meeting with my friend from primary school (~26 years) lined up. What a year 2016 has been.
My Dad recently had their old films transferred to DVDs. So we went back 36 and more years back. From the first holidays my parents had together to me being born until my 7th birthday.

What can I say?
I was a fat baby, a cute toddler and then had a horrible haircut. And my brother and me looked like twins. Not sure whether girl or boy twins...

And lastly, my old art teacher had gotten in touch. While my darling mother forwards all sorts of unimportant post that still gets sent to theirs, she didn't mention this letter which arrived back in November, announcing that he was selling off his art at bargain prices. Some really beautiful paintings. And more importantly, he now lives in Munich! I got quite excited and contacted him. Fortunately for him, and unfortunately for me, he sold all his pieces within just two weeks though. Which really is a pity (for me). But I am hoping to arrange a catch up anyway.

Now I only need to work out what it is I am meant to learn from all these blasts from the past...

wanted: sleep!

5 nights of bad sleep... My old single bed at my parents is just not very comfy.
I am hoping to catch up on a good night's sleep back in my own bed tonight.
Home comforts 💤

done for another year

Christmas has come and gone.
Less stressful than anticipated.
And once again having low expectations paid off  😉

Hell yeah!

I was listening to another of Allison Crow's FB live chats the other day when she quoted somebody else (sorry, I didn't catch the name): "The biggest motherfuckers are the biggest gifters."

I have to admit that until rather recently, I have found this difficult to believe/accept. But am finally seeing that we very often learn and grow the most through the shit we go through. I tended to think that I wanted life to be easy and smelling of fresh cut roses every single day. And I have to say that still holds a certain appeal! Nevertheless, I am now grateful for everything that life has thrown at me (and don't get me wrong: I am fully aware that I have led a privileged life compared to most! So I can't even say I really know what shit looks and feels like!).

Isn't it just so powerful as well to know that we can deal with it all? And we'll come out the other end. So, a huge thank you to all the things and people that have made 2016 a tiny bit more difficult and annoying for me.

Thanks also, of course to all the lovely people and things who have made 2016 into yet another amazing year! I have certainly felt a lot of love and support throughout despite many km in between us. 💕

Not that anyone who knows me needs reminding ...
"Shut the fuck up: I am super nice!" 😎

Laughter, food and swearing

Last night I had a pre-Christmas dinner with my neighbours. Italian food, lots of laughter and a tiny bit of swearing thrown in. They are such darlings and I will sure miss them when they move to the other side of the country in January. But as we all know:

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

They significantly contributed to me settling in so easily into life here in Rosenheim and I am indeed very happy to have met them.

I can't feel my toes...

It's f&cking cold. It FEELS f&cking cold when the temperature isn't even that low (well, below 0°, but not much). I was walking into town yesterday and couldn't feel my toes anymore...
Just in time for Christmas, temperatures are said to rise though up to 10° - good times!

sometimes

Sometimes crying is the only thing you want to do.
Knowing that it won't make a difference really.
But the tears are just coming anyway.

*sigh*

I got this pretty fabric on my last trip to London and it took me a while to decide what to sew with it. Eventually I settled on making another version of this shirt-dress (which I haven't yet worn...).

The pattern is easy enough and I nevertheless managed to make my life harder than necessary by trying to rush it... Firstly, the buttonholes are strangely positioned. This had the unintended but useful side effect of making the dress a little tighter though. But I need a safety pin at the top to hold the collar together as a consequence...

I couldn't decided on the sleeve length, so did them twice until I was happy enough. And lastly, I completely over estimated my free hand cutting skills and the length of the dress was all over the place. So, I had to unpick the seam and do it all over again. When will I learn that precision and measuring are really quite important in sewing?!? 😡

Go girl

I love eating out. But while I don't mind going to the cinema or theatre or having a coffee alone, I generally don't enjoy eating out by myself. But after J recommended it, I thought I'd give it a try. Plus I couldn't be asked to cook or go grocery shopping....

So, I went for a Schnitzel at the Bavarian Erlensee. Cheap and massive but unfortunately not the greatest Schnitzel. But it was followed by a walk around the lake. In the freezing cold... And I felt good about having left the house and the exercise (yes, this counts as exercising for me!). 

'Sommertoilette' - does that mean people are invited to piss in the field???
Big isn't always better...
How lovely the trees are mirrored in the lake
And yes, it is THIS rural here!

More Nuremberg impressions

maybe not pretty but certainly some interesting sculptures including The Hare tribute to Dürer and the Ehekarussel fountain by Jürgen Weber, depicting 'scenes of a marriage'...

Neues Museum: a bit on the small side
(I'm beginning to accept that museum here are rarely the size of London museums) but some cool stuff.
I especially liked the wool sculpture (bottom left):
from the messy pile to a colour coded order or the other way round. Who is to know.

Xmas spirit

I'm not a Christmas person. Haven't been since I was a small kid.

In the spirit of being more active in my free time, I had planned a day trip to Innsbruck (other than passing through on the way to Switzerland, I have never been) on Thursday. Instead, V contacted me the night before, saying they were going to Nuremberg and whether I wanted to join. Flexible and spontaneous as I am (😆), I decided to join them.

Frauenkirche at the Hauptmarkt

Köhlerküsse en masse from back home and Schneeballen.
A weird local specialty consisting of dry cookie dough formed into a difficult to eat ball.
And (this one) filled with traces of marzipan.
Honestly: what's the point???

Another blast from another past

When I first moved to Rosenheim last year, I somehow (via LinkedIn, I think) noticed that R, a guy I went to uni with, lived in Munich. I got in touch and we were planning on meeting up. But as life goes, things were busy for him with two small kids and a house he was renovating. So, it took us until yesterday to finally have a reunion. And how nice to recognize each other immediately. Well, of course we have not changed in 15 years! 🙈

And what can I say: it was lovely! He has a lovely wife, and two adorable daughters and we ended up talking until my last train went back to Rosenheim.

After meeting my schoolmate (~22 years), now R (~15 years), I also have a meeting with my friend from primary school (~26 years) lined up. What a year 2016 has been.

the good pain

Now that my lower back is much better (*touch wood*), my neck and shoulder area is super tensed. I believe it is mainly to do with my reluctance to do the admin work that I am currently doing to pay my rent and it is really mainly a matter of my mind rather than my posture. Either way, I felt it was time to treat myself to a massage and I decided to try the Thai massage place in town.

I've only ever had one Thai massage before - and absolutely hated it! It was incredibly painful and I feared the mean lady was going to break my bones in the process... But as I picked a Thai aroma oil massage this time, I had high hopes that the experience would be different.

And it was. Still painful though, but of the good pain variety. The massage therapist confirmed that I was super tense and that she thought the tension was coming from my bum (??!). My shoulders still feel tender from her pressure - no idea how this tiny lady could do all of this - and unfortunately it hasn't had any lasting relief but that was to be expected after just one session, I guess. I shall let her perform her painful magic again on me in the not too distant future!

self-torture

My pilates teacher is great fun! Next week, the eight week beginners course will end and today I've been discussing the various courses they have on offer to decide which one I should/could join. Last time, she had indicated that her Wednesday evening class is more advanced and we should pick an easier class.

But today she actually encouraged me to try it, saying that I was still young (when people say that, I do always wonder how old they think I am...), and that I know my body quite well (not sure why she thinks that, given that she catches me 'cheating' in most exercises...) and that she thinks I'd manage. Unless I prefer a more gentle class. Which of course was exactly the kind of encouragement and challenge I react well to.

So, we'll see how it goes and how long until she makes me cry and crawl back to one of the beginner classes.... (this is where my pride comes in handy, of course)

🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆

unusual matches

Matching my nail colour to my bed sheet.
All very Xmas-y.
(And yes, I do not iron my bedding...)

calm the f&ck down!

I can be such a drama queen... Not only is this rather unpleasant for my environment, worst of all, once in drama queen mode, I am not even aware myself that I am having one of my moments.

What threw me in yesterday's exercise when I came out with: "I am allowed to be myself."
Immediately,  my old script materialized. A constant repeat of my self doubts, of feeling inadequate, not good enough. And yes, these self-doubts still exist sometimes.
But with a bit of reflection and putting that one sentence into the context of that particular exercise, I think I was actually trying to send myself a different message. Which got lost or mixed up in some other noise.

The topic of the exercise was my anger. Getting angry at the little things. With a physical reaction of increased pulse etc. It's an issue that I'm already handling much better than I used to. The question was what the positive intent behind the anger might be. Which I found tricky to get to the bottom to. Until I came up with: "I am allowed to be myself." And instead of really understanding that and taking it on board, I slipped into other mental state and repeated another film in my head.

Cause what I really was telling myself that it is ok to be me WITH all that anger, too. And also the self-doubt. And that I do not have to be good and perfect (not that I ever am perfect anyway... 😉)  and nice all the time. Instead of embracing the offer the Rumpelstiltskin - that had meanwhile turned into one of the seven dwarfs - made me, I started doing the exact opposite of beating myself up over being myself.

You've got to laugh really. The solutions I came up with for myself were these two:
- don't take everything - including myself - so seriously
- and do take yourself and your needs seriously

Maybe I should have simply listened to the advice to let all of this sink in over the next 24 hours, rather than dwelling on it, there and then.
Next time...

paper planes

Expect the unexpected... The final exercise of this weekend's NLP class threw me. Which in turn frustrated me immensely. Rather than seeing the opportunities that frustrations offer, I still have the mental attitude that I want life to be rainbows and unicorns at all times.

I am happy to say though that after a good night's sleep (circling thoughts can be tiring!), as well as some good advice, I feel much better about it all today.

The weekend finished with a lovely little exercise. Everyone had to write their name on a piece of paper and then fold it into a paper plane. Which was then send flying. Over a few rounds, everyone then picked up a plane and wrote something positive about that person on the plane. So, we all ended up with a collection of positive feedback.

Needless to say that accepting positive feedback continues to be one of my issues. Yes, it is pretty amazing how I manage to make everything into an issue... Nonetheless, it was a great idea and maybe - just maybe - I will be able to accept that some of what was written down for me, is indeed part of me.

✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈

playtime!

I only just discovered the new emoji selection for my blog.
Be prepared for even more fun posts!

🙈🙉🙊

💃👯

👀

👊

the meta model

I finally know the official term for what I've naturally been doing for most of my life:
questioning what people are saying.
Language is only ever an approximation of what we are trying to express. More often than not, it is incredibly imprecise.

Such as very obvious generalizations:
(all) men are/women are XX: Really ALL of them?
you never/always do XYZ: Really NEVER/ALWAYS?

And this is just one example of many.
I have the habit - and I am aware that this habit has annoyed people to a greater and less extent over the years - to question this. Simply because I generally try to understand what the person I am talking to is trying to tell me. So while I've made this experience (of annoying people with my questions), it's taken me until this weekend's NLP class to realize that sometimes asking the questions is simply not result oriented.

Round 2

Second NLP Practitioner weekend.
New tools, new people, new realizations, lots of fun. But also exhausting.
And pasta.

yummy

fascinating

I have had an awesome week! And all down to myself. Which means that awesomeness shall be repeated next week. And the week after. Etc.

On Friday, I had brunch with L. Her baby is gorgeous! And seemed as fascinated by me, as I am by him. After he woke from his nap, he sat with us in his high chair and did nothing but look at me. Occasionally smiling. And then just looking.
Curious little baby.

freezing cold

Winter has most definitely arrived. The other day, I feared my face might fall off on the short walk to the supermarket...

The Christmas market is of course happening right now, too. And while I missed them when I lived abroad (with hindsight: I only thought I missed them...), they really do not have much of an appeal for me nowadays, mainly cause they are too crowded. Nonetheless, when I was walking past the other day, I did think it looked rather pretty with all the lights and especially with a pink tinted sky.

psyched!

I am psyched! Simply about life.

I came across this quote the other day:

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. 

The other is as though everything is.

Albert Einstein

back in the day

If somebody had told me as a child that one day I would go hiking voluntarily, I would have probably thought of them as insane...

And I have to admit that just seeing the mountains on the horizons is generally enough to make me happy. 

After once more I had to admit that despite having lived here for almost 1.5 years, I have hardly seen any of the 'Alms' (the huts dotted around the mountains that serve lovely, hearty food - and as it turns out are mostly shut during winter), I was determined to change that immediately. Not least as I had also come to the conclusion that I should be using my free time much more extensively.

And to make that first step a little easier, I was lucky enough that C and her daughter (who slept throughout the hike - not bad to be pushed around a pram!) were able to join me at relative short notice. While it was cold, hiking up the hill warmed us up quickly and the sky was a beautiful blue and without a single cloud in sight. And we even got to see some snow.

This week has brought back the active 'me' and it is here to stay!

Pretty, or what?!

well....

It started in back in August with an 'excited' blogpost. It's taken me a while to finish this off.
It's finally done now, and as is the case with unfortunately quite a few of the clothes I sew, I am not sure I like it very much. For once, it actually looks better on the dummy, than on me ...

As you can see, I shortened the coat quite considerably, due to the fact that patterns are clearly made for much taller women. I also changed the button arrangement in the front. Maybe a good ironing would also help improve the look. I shall consider it.

Nonetheless, I am proud to present: my very first coat!
And I am rather proud of the lining which looks pretty cool - if I say so myself (and without giving you photographic evidence...).

bluebonnets

"...

Like bluebonnets in the spring we're only here for a little while

It's beautiful and bittersweet so make the most of every mile

So pack light and love heavy give it all your heart and soul

So in the end you won't regret one thing

Life is like bluebonnets in the spring

..."

laughable

Some of the 'revelations' of this past week:
1) practice what you preach
2) it's never too late to make changes and little steps can be the catalyst to much bigger ones
3) pasta with truffles and chestnuts is really yummy!

Of course it's not exactly ground breaking news that it's far easier to give advice to others than to oneself. It's also powerful though when you realize that you have all the tools and knowledge already to make significant positive changes. And you don't need to wait for the new year for some resolutions. But you can start right now.
Go!
Now!

phone marathon

The other night, I spent about three hours on the phone with a new friend. Somehow it felt 'nostalgic' but when I tried to think back to a time where I spent this long on the phone with anyone, I couldn't actually think of anything/anyone (skype has definitely taken the place of a phone call in my life).

Either way, it was lovely and came just at the 'right' time. As it always does if my impatience didn't make me think otherwise a lot of the time...

zen

Independently from each other, I got told by two people, who I only met very recently, and one of them only very briefly, too, how I radiate calm.
It's a lovely thing to hear even if quite in contrast how I often feel myself. While I certainly learned through my event management job how to stay calm or at least pretend to be calm even in stressful situations, I still feel that I lose my nerves way too easily over very trivial matters.

It's also another example how the way I see myself differs from how I am being perceived at time.
Well, I keep learning.

is this it?

One of my lovely London friends, recommended me to somebody for coaching sessions. So, I had my first session this week. And I really enjoyed it. Not only is R a really lovely person, it again was a great feeling to think that I was able to help her a bit.
I'm still stuck on the question though, whether I would link my own job satisfaction and success to much and unhealthily so with the outcome for the client. Which of course, is not always even clear.

But for now, I am very much enjoying gaining experience and also applying the tools that I have been learning.

Most of all, I am back in that wonderful space, where I know that everything is exactly how it 'should' be. Balance is restored.

double Jake

Not that I already have a vast DVD collection including some still wrapped in cellophane...
But it's Jake Gyllenhaal. Twice!

extra loop

Ok, it wasn't quite as easy...
The car dealer ordered the wrong part. Nobody's fault really, as both parts actually have the same name. Somebody didn't really think that one through...
So, with a another day's delay, off I went to the garage again. To be told that they couldn't fit me in with the MOT (when previously they had said, I could just come along). And then the guy was saying that he thinks the car should now pass the MOT but it would depend on the actual guy checking the car. WHAT?????

Anyhow, I am extremely pleased to say that the car did pass.
Never did I think my/a car would make me so happy indeed :-)

While I was waiting, I had coffee and cake. Just the other day, I thought that I haven't had a Bienenstich in forever. Now I think I know why: either this was a particularly bad one, or I simply don't like them...

Lovingly shoved unto the plate, too...