signs

Through my life coach, I came across Allison Crow. I had only listened to maybe a couple of her sessions on facebook, when yesterday I got an alert on my phone that she was live. Following my instinct, I tuned in. She was pulling cards today. She offered to pull an 'I am' card for anyone listening. Now, not only do I know nothing about cards, nor am I sure I believe in it, nor do I usually participate in these kind of things - I am more of the listener, standing on the sidelines but something made me type in my name in the comment box. And she pulled: 'I am surrender'.

At first, the word had rather negative connotations for me (no wonder, given my control freak tendencies!). But the more I thought about it, the more I thought how fitting it really was. Here's something I found about surrendering:
"...In order to attract what you want, you must give the Universe space to deliver your request. This can only be achieved by getting out of the way so that everything can unfold as it should. It is not your job to 'make' it happen; it is simply your job to allow it to happen."

It's no secret that I have issues with giving up control. And in those last few days, I had been thinking about just that. About wanting to stop holding onto things and people and letting go and thus allowing life to unfold in a way that I am potentially unable to even imagine at this point. I remember how my mentor once told me about the importance of letting go (I'm sure I wrote about it here at the time). I totally got that letting go of the 'bad' things was important. But the 'good' things? Don't I want to keep those in my life? The slow learner that I am, now, more than 2 years later, I think I am finally grasping what he was trying to teach me. I'll give it a few more years until I am also able to 'live' it...

Other cards she pulled during the sessions further underlined this, also in relation to reminding myself that I am not in charge of anyone else's journey. About forgiveness (towards myself and others), the art of boundaries and courage.

While I don't have a fully formed opinion on this card business, what I do know is that it spoke to me in a big way. Thank you, universe. And Allison :-)