Thursday 24 May 2012

The C word

Expect the unexpected. But I didn't. We didn't. They've found a tumour. And for a couple of days, I made myself believe that surely it must be benign. Then the news that it is malignant. But they can cut it out and then it's gone as there are no metastases. So they thought.

The histology report of the tumour showed that at least seven of the surrounding lymph nodes were affected. They have been removed, but nobody knows whether the cancer has spread elsewhere. There is a chance that my Mum is already cured. But there is also a chance that she isn't. And the doctors are therefore recommending chemo.

I've known for a few weeks now and it still feels unreal. On the one hand there are all the positive stories of recovering patients, of incredible advances, of a chemo that has far less side effects than it used to have. And on the other hand you see your Mum lying in a hospital bed.

Communication with the doctors has been appalling. In a country like Germany. Such a distressing time for the patient as well as the family and there is just silence.

Even when writing this down, it seems as if this is somebody else' story.

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